What Is a Letter of Wishes, and Do I Need One?
4 minute read
It’s not part of your will, but it can make a real difference to how your wishes are carried out.
When most people think about planning their estate, they focus on the will itself. The will is, of course, the key legal document. However, there is another document that often sits quietly alongside a will and can significantly influence how your estate is managed: a letter of wishes.
A letter of wishes is not a legal requirement, and you may never have heard of it. But depending on your circumstances, it can be one of the most useful things you prepare alongside your will. This guide explains what a letter of wishes is, what it typically contains, when it is most valuable, and what its limitations are.
Table of Contents
What Is a Letter of Wishes?
A letter of wishes is a personal, non-legally binding document that you write to accompany your will. Its purpose is to offer context, guidance, and personal explanations to those responsible for handling your estate after your death. These individuals are most often your executors, but if your will establishes a trust, your letter of wishes may also be addressed to your trustees.
The main difference between a will and a letter of wishes is their legal standing. Your will is a formal legal document that must be executed in a particular manner and creates enforceable commitments. A letter of wishes has no such legal authority. It is a personal message, written in your own words, explaining your intentions and preferences in ways that a formal legal document may not always effectively communicate.
Because it is not legally binding, a letter of wishes can be written, updated, or replaced at any time without the formalities required to change a will. That flexibility is part of what makes it so useful.
What Does a Letter of Wishes Typically Include?
A letter of wishes can address a wide range of matters, especially those that you cannot include in a will or prefer not to make legally binding. While each letter of wishes is unique, the following are some of the most common topics it covers.
Personal Explanations Behind Your Decisions
If you have made choices in your will that might surprise or disappoint people, a letter of wishes allows you to explain your reasoning. You might have decided to leave unequal gifts to your children or to make no provision at all for someone who might have expected to benefit. A brief, thoughtful explanation of your wishes in your letter will not alter the legal position, but it can help prevent misunderstandings and reduce the risk of disputes.
Guidance on How Money Should Be Used
When your will leaves money or other assets to a trustee to hold and distribute for beneficiaries, you can use your letter of wishes to provide guidance on how you want those funds to be used. For instance, you might want money held for a child to be spent on university fees before any capital is released. Although you cannot make this a binding obligation through a letter of wishes alone, you can make your intentions clear to your trustees so they can exercise their discretion in accordance with your wishes.
Funeral Arrangements
Many people have clear preferences about their funeral but are reluctant to include them in their will. There is a practical reason for this: a will is often not read until after the funeral, which means the instructions in the will may come too late. A letter of wishes addressed to your executors or family members is a more appropriate place to record your preferences for burial or cremation, any particular religious or cultural observances, and any personal requests you may have for the service.
Care for Pets
Your will can make financial provision for a pet, but it cannot express your personal preferences about who should care for it or how. A letter of wishes can fill that gap, recording the name of the person you would like to take on your pet and any relevant details about the animal’s routine, diet, or health needs.
Distribution of Sentimental Items
Dividing personal possessions can be one of the most emotionally charged aspects of settling an estate, particularly where sentimental items are concerned. A will can transfer ownership of specific items, but it cannot capture the personal history behind them. A letter of wishes can explain why you want a particular piece of jewellery or a family photograph to go to a specific person, bringing real comfort to the recipient and preventing disputes among family members.
Advice to Trustees Managing a Trust
Where your will creates a trust, especially a discretionary trust, the letter of wishes becomes particularly important. Trustees have wide legal powers and significant discretion over how trust assets are managed and distributed. A letter of wishes does not restrict those powers, but it tells the trustees what you would have wanted them to consider. It might address issues such as the age at which you would like capital to be released to beneficiaries, priorities among beneficiaries, or your general philosophy for how the trust fund should be used
When Is a Letter of Wishes Advisable?
Not everyone needs a letter of wishes, and there is no legal obligation to write one. But in many common situations, having one in place can make a real difference.
When Your Will Includes a Discretionary Trust
A discretionary trust grants your trustees the authority to decide which beneficiaries receive funds, in what amounts, and at what times. This flexibility is often exactly what is required, especially for younger beneficiaries or those whose circumstances might change. However, it also means that your trustees will need to make decisions without detailed guidance unless you provide it. A letter of wishes serves as the natural means for offering that guidance, and most trustees will find it valuable.
You can find out more about how discretionary trusts work in our post on Using discretionary trusts as a protective tool.
When You Are Providing for Young Children
If your will includes provisions for children who are still young when you write it, a letter of wishes can capture your parenting values, preferences about education, and the kind of upbringing you wish for them. Your executors and trustees cannot be required to follow personal guidance of this kind, but knowing what is important to you can be very meaningful to those caring for your children, and it helps to ensure that your values influence the decisions made on your behalf.
When You Have Made Unequal Gifts
Few situations cause as much family conflict after a death as the perception that one person has been treated less fairly than another. If your will makes unequal provision for your children or leaves out someone who expected to benefit, a letter of wishes that explains your reasoning can go a long way in reducing tension and misunderstanding. It will not prevent a legal challenge if someone is determined to pursue one, but it can help demonstrate that your decisions were deliberate and considered rather than the result of confusion or external pressure.
When You Have Personal or Sensitive Wishes to Communicate
Some things simply do not belong in a formal legal document. A letter of wishes is the appropriate place to record personal messages to loved ones, private requests, or sensitive matters that you would prefer not to be part of a public probate record. Since a will becomes a public document after probate, anything you record there can be read by anyone. A letter of wishes is private, making it a better place for anything of a personal or confidential nature.
Would a letter of wishes help in your situation?
Our will-drafting team can advise you on whether a letter of wishes would add value to your estate plan and help you put one together alongside your will. Get in touch for a straightforward conversation about your circumstances.
Important Limitations to Bear in Mind
A letter of wishes is a genuinely useful document, but it is essential to understand what it cannot do.
It Is Not Legally Binding
This is the most important point. A letter of wishes does not create legal obligations. Your executors and trustees are expected to consider it, and most will do so carefully, but they are not legally required to follow it. If a letter of wishes conflicts with the provisions of your will, the will takes precedence. The letter of wishes cannot override, amend, or supplement the legal terms of your will.
It Cannot Replace a Will
A letter of wishes has no legal effect on its own. It is a companion document, not a substitute. Without a valid will in place, a letter of wishes cannot govern how your estate is distributed. Your estate would instead pass under the intestacy rules, which may produce very different results from what you intended. If you have a letter of wishes but no will, making a will should be your immediate priority.
To understand what happens if you die without a will, read our post What if I die without a Will
It Should Be Kept Up to Date
Because a letter of wishes is not a legal document, updating it is straightforward. You can revise it at any time by writing a new version and making sure the people who need to see it know it has been updated. This is one of its great advantages. But it also means that an outdated letter of wishes can cause confusion if it no longer reflects your current circumstances or intentions. Review your letter of wishes whenever you review your will, and update it if anything significant has changed.
Keep It With Your Will, But Separate From It
A letter of wishes should be stored alongside your will so your executors can easily find it. It should not, however, be attached to or incorporated into the will itself, as this could create legal uncertainty about the will’s terms. Keep it as a separate document, ideally one that is clearly dated and signed.
A Practical, Flexible Companion to Your Will
A letter of wishes is not a document that everyone needs, but it is one that many people find genuinely valuable once they understand what it can do. It sits in the space between the formal requirements of a will and the personal, human reality of the lives it affects.
If your will involves a trust, if you have young children, if you have made decisions that need context, or if you simply have things you want to say that do not belong in a legal document, a letter of wishes is well worth considering. It takes relatively little time to prepare, it can be updated whenever your circumstances change, and it can make a significant difference to how smoothly your estate is administered and how well your intentions are understood.
Whether you need a letter of wishes, a will, or a combination of the two, we are here to help you think it through.
Ready to put your estate plan in place?
Making a will is one of the most important things you can do for the people you love. If you would like to discuss whether a letter of wishes is right for your situation, or if you are ready to get started with your will, our team is here to help.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a letter of wishes?
A letter of wishes is a personal, non-legally binding document that accompanies your will. It is addressed to your executors or trustees and explains your intentions, personal preferences, and the reasoning behind the decisions you have made in your will. It can cover topics such as funeral preferences, guidance on how trust funds should be used, pet care arrangements, and personal messages to family members.
Is a letter of wishes legally binding?
No. A letter of wishes is not a legal document and does not create enforceable obligations. Your executors and trustees are expected to consider it, but they are not legally required to follow it. It cannot override or amend the provisions of your will.
Do I need a letter of wishes?
You do not need a letter of wishes for your will to be valid or legally effective. However, a letter of wishes can be very useful in certain situations, such as when your will creates a discretionary trust, when you are providing for young children, when you have made unequal gifts, or when you have personal wishes that are better kept outside a formal legal document.
Can a letter of wishes replace a will?
No. A letter of wishes has no legal effect on its own and cannot replace a will. Without a valid will, your estate will be distributed under the intestacy rules regardless of what your letter of wishes says. A letter of wishes is a companion to your will, not a substitute for it.
What should I include in a letter of wishes?
A letter of wishes can include personal explanations for your decisions, guidance on how trust funds should be used, funeral preferences, wishes for the care of pets, instructions about sentimental items, and any personal messages you want to leave to family or friends. It can cover anything that you want your executors or trustees to know, but that does not need to be part of your formal will.
When is a letter of wishes most important?
A letter of wishes is especially important when your will includes a discretionary trust, since trustees need guidance on how to exercise their discretion. It is also valuable when you are providing for young children, when you have made choices that might surprise or disappoint family members, or when you have personal or sensitive wishes to communicate.
Can I update a letter of wishes?
Yes. Because a letter of wishes is not a legal document, you can update it at any time without the formalities required to change a will. Simply write a new version, date and sign it, and make sure the relevant people know that it has been updated. You should review it whenever you review your will.
Where should I keep my letter of wishes?
Your letter of wishes should be stored alongside your will so that your executors can locate it easily after your death. It should be kept as a separate document rather than attached to or incorporated into the will itself, to avoid any legal uncertainty. Consider telling your executors where both documents are kept.
Disclaimer
This article is intended as general information only and does not constitute legal advice. The information refers to the law of England and Wales. Tax thresholds and legal rules are correct at the time of writing but are subject to change. We recommend that you seek professional advice regarding your own circumstances.
Bio
This article was written by Stephen Rhodes. Stephen was called to the Bar of England and Wales in 1999 and brings over 25 years of in-house experience working with solicitor firms across the Manchester area, with a specialism in Wills and Probate. He now focuses exclusively on will drafting, helping his clients ensure their loved ones are taken care of exactly as they would wish.